The Lyric- Shenandoah, PA

"Stay out of Shendo"- my mother,when I told her I was taking a drive as a teenager.

"Nothing but trouble happens in that town" - countless other Frackville residents, while I was growing up.

Yeah, Shenandoah, known by many names other than its actual name (such as Shendo, Chendo, Shanadoor, and 462 Land), has quite a reputation around these parts.  When I was a teenager, it was known as the place where teenagers engaged in "cruising"- driving one's car in a gigantic figure eight loop through town, yelling at people you knew as you passed by, and the frequent fights that occurred.  Shenandoah has been home to quite a few interesting characters.  I remember specifically seeing a crazed-looking gentleman in his 40's getting in quite the argument with a parking meter.  By the way, there was no car parked in the parking meter's spot- he was pretty much just yelling at an inanimate object.

What a town.  It also has its fair share of food establishments, but my two favorites growing up, Socca's Bakery and Armando's Pizza, are long gone.  Still standing, and probably will be for years to come, is Kowalonek's Kielbasy shop, which will deserve its own entry in the future.  In the meantine, just trust me: go get some Kilbo there.  Lucky's Deli by the high school is also pretty good for Kielbasa.

Standing near the main intersection of Shenandoah is the old Lyric Theater.  I cannot recall what this building was used for in my youth, though I think it was just a series of bars for awhile.  At one point, many moons ago, it was indeed a movie theater, just like many towns in the area had small theaters during their boom period.  The Lyric looks to be a nice size; I bet that it was a nice place to see a film in its day.

Now the Lyric is a restaurant that has retained the name of the old theater, and a fairly popular restaurant in the area to boot.  I have eaten there a number of times with family and also with work colleagues, so I think I have a pretty good handle on what it has to offer.  I wish I could say that it had something good to offer.

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh with that last sentence, but I had a horrible experience there today, and I must admit that it has colored much of my memory about eating here.  Before tonight, I would have told you that the Lyric was a place that served pretty standard food.  If you asked for a bottle of hot sauce, you weren't getting anything special, just a bottle of Texas Pete's.  Their pierogies were the same Mrs. T's you could buy in the grocery store (after all, the Mrs. T's Company is based right in this town).  The Lyric is fine for what it is, but it's not anything special, nor does it really have to be in this area.

There are some different items on the menu.  Sriracha Chicken Bites for one.  I love sriracha, and the bites they serve are pretty tasty.  They also happen to be available at Sam's Club, and I think it's the same ones that they serve here.  The French Fries are pretty standard, as are most of the menu items.  Tonight I had Coconut Shrimp, and I think these are the same frozen Coconut Shrimp they sell at Boyer's.  My family likes it, and it's not anything offensive, so I eat here from time to time.

That might change, though.  If you're going to serve such standard food, you need to stand out in other areas.  I have had issues with service before, but tonight took the cake.  We arrived at 5:30, and stood at the front of the restaurant waiting to be seated.  Nobody on the staff came up to us to ask us if we needed a seat, or tell us to pick a table, or anything like that.  We just stood there, looking confused, and to be honest, I didn't know the seating policy, as every other time I've eaten there I arrived after my party was already sitting somewhere.  My wife and I just sat at a table, which must have been alright, since nobody asked us to leave.  They didn't ask us anything.  We just sat there for awhile until finally, maybe 10 minutes in, a waitress asked us if we were waited on.  She gave us menus, dropped some off for the rest of the party which had yet to arrive, and went on her way.

Family arrived shortly thereafter.  Someone came by and got our drink orders, promptly bringing by our drinks.  We ordered, and we sat.  And sat.  And sat.  I picked up my phone to play Tetris because I was bored.  My wife told me that was rude.  So we sat.  And sat.  And shared the news of the day with each other.  And sat.  And sat.  And started to feel very hungry.  And sat. And sat.  And sat.  And finished our drinks.  And got no refill offers.  And sat.  And sat.  And sat.  And looked around as a big steak was dropped off at the table next to us, and as the waitress yukked it up with those people.  And walked right by ignoring us.  And sat.  And sat.  I was hungry.  And since I had drank all of my water with no refill since the first glass, I was thirsty too.  I was also pretty angry.  Sorry for the short sentences.  I type short sentences when I am frustrated.  Like this.  And this.

My family was getting peeved as well.  My grandmother, completely out of character, took her spoon and hit her soda glass, making a loud "ding" that the waitresses ignored.  My aunt, wanting to find some humor in the situation, took her fork in one hand and spoon in the other and feigned banging a beat out on the table.  She does things like that when she's mad.  It's passive-aggressive.

It was after 7:00 until we received our food.  We got a brusque "sorry it took so long", but that was pretty much it.  And then, when we finally received our food, I looked down and prepared to chomp down on those popcorn shrimp.  They weren't anything special, but I had been waiting an hour and a half, so at the time they looked like the best thing I've ever eaten.  I picked up one of my shrimp---

"HOLD ON!!!  DON'T EAT THAT!" my waitress yelled as if eating it would end my life and possibly all of civilization.  I dropped it as if it were a grenade and backed away from the plate.  That was wierd.

She took my plate, said "I'll be right back," and soon dropped the plate back in front of me.

There were three shrimp missing.

Now, at eight shrimp, it looked like I got a good bang for my buck.  But with the remaining five, plus the crumbs left behind from their three missing siblings, it was looking pretty scrawny. 

I ate quickly and fumed.  The waitiress ignored us much of the time while she laughed and joked with more than one other table that was around us.  She took our orders and had us sit for over an hour.  She tried to avoid making eye contact with any of us.  I felt like a leper.

Then she gave me a generous helping of shrimp, and yelled so loud the whole restaurant could hear, and then took away much of that helping.

I wasn't impressed with this restaurant before.  Now I'm REALLY not impressed.

I bet people who watched movies in the Lyric had a better time than I had tonight.

I'm sitting watching Pleasantville as I type this.  It's a better movie than the Lyric is a restaurant.  Reese Witherspoon is in it.  I bet she could make me better food than what the Lyric served me tonight.  Tobey Maquire also is in this movie.  I bet he could make me a good meal, better than what I had tonight.  I bet Tobey Maguire knows how to make a mean Coconut Shrimp.  And I bet he wouldn't yell at me when I first started to chow down, too.

Stay away from this place.

Lyric, get your act together.

Lyric Restaurant
33 W Centre St  Shenandoah, PA 17976

(570) 462-1631

It's been awhile....

Haven't posted anything in awhile.

I have some posts to compose, and some places to eat so I can have  some more entries.  Just wanted you to know that The Coal Region Food Guy is alive.


I had some comments made yesterday on one of my reviews that I deleted.  The reasons were as follows:

1.) The commenter made three posts that essentially said the same thing.  If it was just one comment, I probably would have left it up, but the writer not only replied to my blog post, but also to the owner of the restaurant, who also commented (and Pam, I'll be doing another review, I just haven't gotten around to it because real life and all of that). 

2.) At least one of the comments used profanity, which I don't care for on my blog. 

3.) The commenter referred to one of the employees in a fashion that sounded like she knew her personally, which made it seem like this was a personal issue that didn't need to be aired on a public blog. 

Keep eating, everyone. 

-Brian

I ate a veggie burger last night..

And I lived to tell the tale.

I was at Brewser's Sportsgrille in Shamokin, where right now they have a deal where $5 gets you one of their really delicous burgers along with a heaping pile of their own homemade potato chips.  The best value, in my opinion, is the Potbelly burger which is a nice, big beef burger topped with cheese and pulled pork barbecue.

But on this night, I opted for the Veggie burger instead.  I am hardly a vegetarian or anything like that (not that there's anything wrong with that), but I figured I could go for at least a little bit of a healthier meal.

The verdict?  Well, I find myself questioning where this burger came from.  Okay, okay, I know I ordered it at Brewser's, but is this a homemade veggie burger?  I doubt it.  It was a bigger version of the same veggie patty that Burger King used to sell (and maybe still do) as the BK Veggie.  I've tried a number of veggie burger varieties.  My favorite would be a type I tried from Morningstar Farms that used Black Beans as its main base.

As far as Brewser's Veggie Burger goes, it's just a regular veggie burger, and it didn't stand out above and beyond any other veggie burger I've had.  I put a ton of ketchup on it like I have almost every time I've tried one.  It's a shame, because Brewsers has such good options on their menu, and I get the feeling that this item is simply there for Vegetarians, like a placeholder, so that they can say they have some vegetarian options (and I shouldn't be too mean, because they have some salads too).

All I can say is that I am glad I am not a vegetarian.  I have dabbled with it before, but have never lasted long.  Brewser's isn't the only restaurant that does this, in fact there's a lot that do.  But if I was a vegetarian, I would be a little bored of the options that are out there, especially in this particular corner of the earth. 

It wasn't the worst thing I've eaten, but it didn't make me do backflips, either.  It was just kind of there.

Still love those chips at Brewser's, though.

My plea to Wendy's in Shamokin

Hi there, Wendy's in Shamokin:

That's where you are.  This was once a proud main street, filled with buildings, theatres, and stores of every kind.  I hear stories from thirty or forty years ago about how we didn't need shopping malls or huge box stores like Wal-Mart in the area because you had everything you needed right on Shamokin's main street.

And that's where you find yourself situated, for how many years?  15?  20? 

Look, those of us like myself who find themselves so busy with work that they realize that they haven't eaten since noontime at 9:00 at night are pretty much held hostage by the fact that you are the only restaurant open at that time in town.  And to be honest, as far as fast food goes, you're not that bad.  That's a little bit like saying, "as far as worms go, you're a pretty attractive pet," but you at least have some pretty decent chili and some semi-healthy options like decent-for-fast-food salads and baked potatoes.  So about once a week, you're where I turn to when I get home at 9:00 and don't feel like cooking.

But consider this.  Your service has been less than spectacular ever since I moved to Shamokin in the summer of 2011.  I have a wife who, for whatever reason, doesn't like cheese.  I know, I know- cheese is wonderful, and placed on a burger, it elevates the experience to a high plane of deliciousness.  But for whatever reason, she doesn't like it.  So when she doesn't get the grilled chicken sandwich, as she usually does, I will order for her a single without cheese.  I will specify "without cheese".  And you will get it right about half of the time.

About half of the time.

Now, as you know, Wendy's in Shamokin, I'm a baseball fan.  You know, because half the time I show up to order food, it's in a Philadelphia Phillies t-shirt.  As a baseball fan, I know that if a batter would manage to hit a baseball safely half the time, he would have a .500 batting average, which would be the most amazing thing to happen in that particular sport ever.  In 2011, Jose Reyes led the National League with a .337 batting average.  He was the most successful batter in the league in that respect, and HE ONLY SAFELY IT THE BALL 33.7% OF THE TIME.  HITTING A BASEBALL IS HARD.

REFRAINING FROM PUTTING CHEESE ON A HAMBURGER IS NOT. 

Your Cheese Refraining Average (CRA) should be .900 at least.  I'd be okay if it was .800.  But it's not.  IT'S MAYBE .500. 

Come on, Wendy's in Shamokin!

And while I'm ranting, let's talk about Tuesday.  I was stressed out on Tuesday.  I'm a pastor, and we had our council meeting.  It was a stressful council meeting, and I drove back into town at about 9:00 feeling lousy.  I stopped by your place on the way home and ordered two combo meals so that I could eat them and sleep the bad council meeting off.  Or that I could eat one of them- Michelle would have the other.  Though I probably could have eaten both and slipped into a food coma.

I got home, and Michelle discovered that you refrained from giving us fries.  I calmly called the store, explained the predicament, and your manager told me to come back down and she would give me the fries.  No problem. 

So I went down, and I went into the store, and I explained to the counter person what happened.  She says, "I don't know anything about it", and then she disappears.  FOR FIVE MINUTES.  I hear your workers talking, and they are MUMBLING ABOUT ME.  It becomes obvious that they are annoyed because I showed up for my fries that I ALREADY PAID FOR AND SHOULD BE HOME ENJOYING BY NOW.  INSTEAD I AM STANDING AT YOUR STORE WHILE THE REST OF MY FOOD GETS COLD AT HOME.

Finally, the manager showed up, looked me over, and verified that the story was correct.  I have no idea why it took this long for that to happen.  Then they hand me my fries without even an apology.

Come on, Wendy's.  I know I shouldn't expect pristine service.  I know your employees make next to nothing.  I worked in fast food for eight years, and realize how soul crushing that whole deal can be.  But still, I expect to be treated like a human being.

I know I did not pay a lot for my food, and that it wasn't the best thing for me to eat, but it was there at the moment and regardless of how cheap the food is, one should expect to simply be treated with basic human respect. 

I know Shamokin isn't very good nowadays.  I know you often have some crazy people in there.  But come on, Wendy's.  At least try.

The Polish Dog at Brewser's SportsGrille

Nothing better.  Except maybe a Tony's Screamer.

Look at this picture.

This is a hot dog, a very big one at that, covered in what we in the Region call "Halushki".  You can look it up on The Google, but what you will find is many recipes, hearkening back to many of the Polish immigrants that once came and settled in Pennsylvania, that lead to making this wonderful dish of buttered dough, onion, egg noodles, and cabbage.  Don't knock it until you've tried it.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up.

About two weeks ago, my wife and I went to Brewser's Sportsgrille, which I reviewed in one of my first entries on this blog.  Brewser's was "so-so" back when I first reviewed it.  Since then, however, I've eaten there many times, and I can say that they are adding dynamic new things to their menu, and their beer selection is second to none.  The service has improved greatly, and I can say that now this has become one of my regular places. In the past year or so, Brewser's has become one of the best restaurants in Shamokin, if not the entire coal region itself.  Some day I will get around to talking about my favorite thing on their menu, the Potbelly Burger.  But for now, let's talk about that picture you see at the top of this entry.

One of the new menu additions the last time I was there was the Polish Hot Dog.  I am sad to say that it is no longer on the menu, as it was a July specialty, but hopefully they will add it back at a later time. This was part of a $5 Hot Dog special, and for only an Abe Lincoln, you got what you see above.  The Hot Dog was thick and juicy, full of a rich texture and a great salty flavor (but not overly so).  This was not a cheap hot dog that you get when the Girl Scouts are selling 2 for $1 dogs outside of the grocery store.  No, this was a good tasting, filling hunk of meat perfectly accented by the deliciously cooked halushki.  There was so much halushki on this dog that I had enough to make a little side plate full of the stuff and still have plenty on the dog. 

My mouth is watering every time I look at that picture above.  I can't help it.

If anyone from Brewser's is reading this: PLEASE put this back on the menu.  They had a number of specialty hot dogs on the menu that were a July-only selection, probably because it was summer and everyone associates a good hot dog with this time of year.  At least I do.  Sadly, as a limited-time only deal, as of August 1st this wonderful dough-and-cabbage topped piece of heaven is no longer available.  Again, please bring it back, Brewser's!

Pamela's- Pittsburgh Area (OUT OF THE REGION)

Sometimes I feel upset that, due to where I live, I'm not very close to a lot of things.  Living in Shamokin, I have to drive a half hour to work, most large cities are over an hour, and in general, if I want to do anything other than go to Wal-Mart, a drive is in order.  It's not a huge deal, really- it's just the fact of the matter.

Recently I was in the Pittsburgh area for a wedding, and I met some friends for breakfast.  My wife and I left our hotel and we gathered at this place called Pamela's.  Pamela's is the kind of place that will make you jealous that you don't have this place near you.  This is probably a good thing for me, though- if I could eat here more often, I would soon need bypass surgery.

If you have ever seen a show on either the Food Network or the Travel Channel, chances are that you have seen Pamela's covered.  There are a number of locations around the general Pittsburgh area, and as I hear, they are pretty much all excellent.  Pamela's is known for their absolutely huge pancakes, that are thin and large (they are referred to as "crepe style" on the menu) and, according to my wife, delicious.

But I had a real man's breakfast.  I didn't settle for any pancakes or anything like that.  No, I had the corned beef hash with some fried eggs and a side order of home fries.  Yes, that's right- I had corned beef hash with a side order of home fries!  As the kids on the streets say, "that's how I roll."  Hopefully, this paragraph induced the appropriate amount of eye-rolling.

Seriously, though, the Hash was good.  Nice crispy beef mixed with potato in a way that overloaded the senses and made me want more with each bite.  I don't know how to put it in words.  I want to make up a word not unlike Will Ferrell's portrayal of James Lipton in the old Saturday Night Live parodies of Inside the Actor's Studio.  I'm not actually going to attempt that here, because anything I do would be inferior.  Still, the Corned Beef Hash might have been the best I've ever had, and certainly beats the kind I try to make at home.

I got potatoes on the side, because I wanted to try Pamela's regular side in its purest form.  These were almost as good as the version with the meat mixed in.  One thing I noticed was that it was super buttery, which is great because it made it taste good, but bad in that I was checking my pulse the rest of the day to make sure a visit to the hospital wasn't in order.  There was variety in this side of potatoes- some really crispy, but not overdone, and some soft, but not underdone.

Just thinking about this place makes me want to hop in my car right now and drive to the Pittsburgh area.  Seriously, if you happen to be in that area, even for a night, you owe it to yourself to see where the nearest Pamela's is and get there ASAP.  Forgo the free breakfast at the hotel.  It will be inferior.  Don't worry about the calories.  You only live once.

If there was one complaint I had about Pamela's, it would be that it is a cash only place.  Luckily, they had a big sign in front of the restaurant warning you of this, but I'm so used to paying for everything with my check card nowadays.  Maybe they'll start taking plastic in the near future.  So, if you do decide to treat yourself to this unique place, make sure you have some paper money with you.

As an aside- Pittsburgh has some great food, but is FRUSTRATING to drive around.  There was construction when we were there, and I got turned around numerous times.  Just be prepared and don't trust your GPS.

Pamela's
5813 Forbes Ave
Pittsburgh, PA 15217
(412) 422-9457 

Marrone's- Girardville, PA

So here's what you do:

After driving through either the dilapidated town of Frackville or the dilapidated town of Ashland, PA, you either take the Gilberton exit off of the Gold Star Highway (from Frackville) or turn onto Route 54 (from Ashland), and take in the sight of Girardville, PA.

It might not look like much, but there is a diamond in the rough in this town, other than Tony's Lunch (wave to Bernie on the way in if you're coming from Frackville).

If you happen to come on a Monday, you'll find some of the finest Italian dinners around- at half off the already reasonable menu price! Who says there's no such thing as a bargain anymore?

Listen, Marrone's isn't fancy.  It's old fashioned.  It needs a major, major renovation.  The waitresses have plenty of "Coal Region" Attitude.  But where else can you get a Chicken Parmesan dinner and a salad, and have your dining partner get a pretty substantial Baked Ziti dish, all for under $20? This is the Coal Region at its finest- good food a cheap prices.  Even when it's not heavily discounted, on any other night than a Monday, this is still a pretty good place to check out.

As I said before, the decor doesn't look like much.  It needs updating badly- old style wood paneling, smallish booths from decades ago, and too many tables pushed together.  Some have complained of odd odors from time to time, but I haven't detected that myself.  But honestly, nobody eats at a restaurant in Girardville because it looks nice.

The staff is friendly, and they give you a fair estimation of what it's like to be around someone's kitchen table for a pasta dinner.  You might get some attitude, but these people really do care about their customers and there is a lot of care in the food.

The sauce in most of their dishes is a semi-sweet sauce.  It's not as sugary as, say, the pizza sauce at Centiole's, but there definitely is a sweetness there.  If you are a hardcore marinara aficianado, maybe this isn't for you, but there's not a sauce around like it and it is perfect when matched with grated parmesian cheese.  My wife is definitely NOT a fan of sweet tomato sauce, but she does like Marrone's, so it must not be too sweet.  The same sauce is also on their pizza, which is underrated and should be in the conversation of "best pizza in the coal region".  As is the tradition around these parts, the pizza comes with hot sauce, which makes for an awesome sweet-yet-spicy combination.

I tend to get some kind of dish that features sausage at Marrone's, because I think that the sausage goes best with the sauce.  It's another "sweet and spicy" thing.  

Sadly, Girardville is like every other coal town in Schuylkill County.  Things used to be better, times were tough, times are still tough, and times in the future will probably be tough.  Still, Marrone's is a diamond in the rough in these "hard times".

If you do go on a Monday, they open around 5 PM, and you should expect a line of people waiting outside for the half price specials.  Some will have come as far as an hour away.

If you want a good Italian dinner that is different from the norm, Marrone's is definitely a good choice.

Marrone's Cafe
31 West Main Street  Girardville, PA 17935

(570) 276-6407