Diners are a part of the tableaux of the United States of America, and Pennsylvania is not any different. I have reviewed a diner or two already on this here blog- Frackville's Dutch Kitchen comes to mind, for one.
Lately Michelle and I were cruising down through Lebanon and Lancaster County, and we ended up stopping for lunch and dinner at two separate diners. I thought it would be a neat idea to compare them and see which one is better.
Kumm Esse Diner- Myerstown, PA
We arrived here on a Friday afternoon. My sister-in-law had just moved to a new house, and we stopped by to check it out. About five minutes away stands this diner, which I had driven past hundreds of times in the year I had worked in Lancaster.
Myerstown sits on the intersection of US Route 422 and PA State route 501. 501 is the road I would drive on all the time. Anyway, the name "Kumm Esse" literally means "come eat" in German/Pennsylvania Dutch, a nod to the PA Dutch history of the area. Outside of the name, the next thing you will notice on their signage is "TRY OUR STRAWBERRY PIE" in big blue letters. I have heard of this legendary Strawberry Pie, though I have yet to try it.
If you are looking for a fancy place, this isn't it. But I found the service to be very good, as we had a very attentive waitress. The inside looks old-fashioned, like the diners of my youth. The seats are small, the tables are close together, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. It felt kind of like coming home again. I remember an old small chain of restaurants called the Amity House, which was owned by Weis Markets. The interior of this restaurant reminded me much of that old place. While the inside looked liked it was built sometime between the mid 60's and the late 70's, it was kept up very, very well. No dirt, no dust, just a classic looking place.
Let's get to the food. I ordered the Beef Heart dinner, which came with potato filling, pepper slaw, lettuce with hot bacon dressing, and some banana bread. Yes, I said Beef Heart. As in the part of the body that pumps blood through the cow. I know that some would consider it worthy of Bizarre Foods, but in this part of Pennsylvania (aka "Dutch Country"), this is a common dish for some. I had never had it before, so I was curious.
It was the best decision I made all day. If you didn't know this was beef heart, you'd think you were just having some of the best roast beef you've ever eaten. You got some thick slices, with delicious (I'm guessing) homemade gravy. The whole experience was melt-in-your-mouth deliciousness. The texture was a little different, but I truly wonder if that was just because I knew what I was eating. It was satisfying, one of those stick-to-your-ribs meals that can keep you going for the better part of the day. The potato filling that sat under the slices of heart were a perfect compliment, having enough lumps in it that you knew it was homemade but with a delicious, hearty flavor of its own.
Serving banana bread instead of regular rolls is a genius stroke, but I happen to be a fan of banana bread whether it be homemade or from Entemann's. The hot bacon dressing was also homemade, tick and rich, served with enough lettuce that it wasn't soup like some other places. It had a strong, sweet and sour flavor that served as a good side dish. The pepper cabbage was extremely strong, maybe too much so. I still ate the whole thing, as I found it a good counterbalance to the beef heart.
Prices were reasonable, and from what I could tell, this is a favorite of the locals, which is always a good sign.
Let's see how Kumm Esse compares with the other diner I ate at....
Heisey's Diner- Lebanon, PA
It was much later that day, around 9:00 PM. Michelle and I had just seen the excellent movie Enough Said (known mainly because it was James Gandolfini's last film), and now we were driving home looking for something to eat along the way.
I still had the memory of Kumm Esse in my mind, but I wasn't about to drive back to Myerstown. It was getting late, so a lot of the mom-and-pop restaurants in the area were starting to close. We drove completely out of the town of Lebanon towards Interstate 81, and along the side of the road we spotted Heisey's. It looked like a building that has been there for a long, long time. It had "Diner" in its name.
I was excited and pulled over, waiting to hopefully have just as great an experience, if not better, than the lunch of the day.
Heisey's has obviously been around for a long time. When you walk in, you are looking at a classic built prefabricated metal structure, now bricked up and expanded upon. The inside, except for the doorways to the other parts of the building, looks like you could expect Ralph Malph and The Fonz to come strolling in at any minute.
I love old diners. It's tragic when they get "bricked up", as this one had (similar to the Dutch Kitchen in Frackville), but I understand the desire to modernize. It's still cool to sit in one of these things and take a look around at what used to be the standard in American food service.
Anyway, at one point I had to use the bathroom, and walked from room to room to room to room etc. to finally find a very new section, with a fairly clean bathroom. That's always a plus. Also, they have huge rooms that I found out are used for many local groups and clubs, including church groups and things like the Rotary. It's good to know they are involved with the outlying community. That's a plus for Heisey's.
As for the food..... well, it sure is good that Heisey's is involved with the community. Yesiree, it is.
I don't want to be mean. It was edible. But much of it was obviously canned. The pepper cabbage at dinner didn't have any flavor, nor did the grilled pork chops I had. At some point I will add a picture, but the two pork chops looked sad and pathetic sitting there on that oval plate. They weren't with any flavor, either. I salted them like I was trying to give myself high blood pressure (and maybe I did).
I had lettuce with hot bacon dressing here, too, and it wasn't hot nor was it very bacony. It was kinda bland. I continued to be more and more disappointed the more the meal went on.
I dug into the mashed potatoes. Yup, creamy and bland. No flavor to be had here, either.
My meal came with an apple dumpling. It was okay. There's something to be said for the sadness of seeing your server pick one from a tray and put it in the microwave. I'm aware that many restaurants probably heat up things like apple dumplings this way, but I'd just rather not see it. Oh, well.
The waitress was very, very nice. I lied when she asked me how everything was, replying "great", because she reminded me of a few bright and cheery people I knew way back in the past. The food was not great. It was edible.
So in this battle of the Dutch Country Diners, I give the victory, by far, to the Kumm Esse Diner. Heisey's isn't the worst thing in the world. It sure is nice they are involved with the community.
Kumm Esse Diner
101 W Lincoln Ave Myerstown, PA 17067
Heisey's Diner
1740 Pennsylvania 72 Lebanon, PA 17046
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